We Chose Life – A Lifetime of Love in Three Days

Dear Parents,

In 2002 we were thrilled to learn that we were pregnant with our fourth child, Marissa Elizabeth. This special blessing confirmed a decision we had made prior to that pregnancy to have my husband’s vasectomy reversed. You see, shortly after the birth of our third child, we decided my husband should have a vasectomy. Several years later after coming back full force to our faith, we decided that we had made a mistake and that he should have the vasectomy reversed. So we were ecstatic about the news of the pregnancy four months after the surgery!! However, our joy turned to sorrow when we discovered in the fifth month of the pregnancy that our daughter had a genetic disorder, Trisomy 18, which meant that she would not survive. We were devastated. After learning of the news and crying together and with our families, we accepted God’s decision. It was His will, and even though we were overcome with grief, we trusted in His decision to send her for only a short while. We were asked if we wanted to terminate the pregnancy and told them that “only the Lord gives life and only He can take it.” We continued with the pregnancy but didn’t know if she would die in utero, live for an hour, a day, a month, a year.  Do we buy a crib or clothing for her? It was so difficult buying things for her knowing she might not even use them. At the same time, we made arrangements for her funeral, which we knew was inevitable. We prayed fervently, along with many, many family and friends that she would survive and be born alive so that we could hold her and tell her how much we loved her. We decided that, if we were allowed the gift of her live birth, we would provide her with comfort care only which meant that we would not subject her to any needles, testing, surgery or the like until the Lord decided to take her home. We would make her as comfortable as possible while she was with us. So after four months of anticipation and prayer, we were blessed with her live birth. She was a very fragile and tiny little 3 lbs.12 oz. baby girl – but she was alive. For three days we showered her with love, and hugs and kisses. We told her bedtime stories, and sang songs to her. We crammed a lifetime of our love into three short days. All of our family and friends came to see her. And even though we all knew she wouldn’t be staying, we knew it was God’s plan, that He had a good reason, and we trusted in it. We were honored that He had picked us to be her parents to take care of her during her brief stay. Three days after she was born, our daughter died in our arms. And though we were devastated to lose her, we share a profound joy in knowing that she is in heaven.   God gave us a life and even though it was for a short time, we will never forget her and our love for her will always be with us.

Love,
Gina & Jesse